Introspective

Looking back over my last few blogs I have noticed they are about things to think about. I guess I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, just reflecting on things in my life. I am still processing and don't really have much to share except that which I have been and am about to post on here. Because of my introspective state I gues you could say I am hearing things a little differently, external things are impacting me internally. So I got hit by something today that I wanted to share with you.

I subscribe to a daily email article from this guy named John Fischer, it is called "The Fischtank." Anyway, his article today really made me think, in fact I am still thinking about it. Let me let you read it first then I will tell you some thoughts.

Character development
by John Fischer

I know I've used this before but I can't help it. Never have I witnessed a part, a character or a situation as a dramatic production that is closer to my deep-seated fears and misassumptions than what I find in the character played by Peter Facinelli in the movie The Big Kahuna starring Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito.

I keep coming back to it because I have quotes from it in my speaking notes and when I go on the road and prepare for a new talk I run across them again and sometimes I find something new that didn't hit me as strongly as it did before. Probably because I wasn't ready for it. Truth is always like that.

Peter Facinelli, who plays Bob in this movie, is a perfect example of a kid who grew up Christian, went to a Christian college, took on all the trappings of what a Christian is supposed to be and do, and truly means it, but when thrust into the real world with two seeking individuals who to him would simply be non-Christians, the holes in his character, the missing links of humanity, the inability to connect with what should be naturally human become glaringly obvious. So much so that towards the end of the movie, Phil (the Danny DeVito character) makes an observation, "Your problem, Bob, is that you haven't lived long enough to regret anything."

To which Bob replies, "You're saying I have to go out and do something bad so I'll have something to regret?" (Exactly what I would have said, by the way.)

Phil: "I'm saying you've already done plenty of things to regret you just don't know what they are."

Ouch! That's the part that always nails me. But then he goes on to say: "It's when you discover them (the things you regret), when you see the folly in something you've done, and you wish that you had it to do over, but you know you can't, because it's too late. So you pick that thing up, and carry it with you to remind you that life goes on, the world will spin without you... Then you will gain character, because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself across your face."

This adds new meaning to "pick up your cross and follow me…" Instead of dragging around some imaginary bloody beam of wood, what if Jesus meant for us to face into the failures, disappointments and mistakes of our lives and own them instead of excusing them or skating over them, and let them become a part of who we are and are becoming? Pick them up and carry them around as reminders of why there had to be a cross in the first place. So many Christians are like Bob: they're trying so hard to be good Christians that they wouldn't recognize their own cross if they tripped over it. Their cross is all the things they should be regretting but don't know anything about. Believe me, I can speak with certainty about this because I'm an expert at it.

Picking up your cross then would mean moving on in spite of your mistakes, failures and regrets. It would mean growing through regret and forgiveness, and finding hope on the other side of the cross.


I guess it has just got me thinking. There are plenty of things I regret in life however none of them are recent. And I don't believe we are to carry all our mistakes around with us all the time- Jesus paid for those mistakes, His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I am no longer chained to those sins, I am set free. But maybe that is what Jesus means by "pick up your cross and follow me." Too often I am overly impressed with myself- I need to rememebr why there had to be a cross- me, my mistakes and imperfections are enough to keep me away from the ultimate lover of my soul, so to make me perfect God sent His son to the cross. That's all I can articulate just now- still processing through the rest.

Let me know your thoughts